Hello, it’s me, Elizabeth! I am not wearing any pants! None! And I am on the stairs, holding a piece of dog bone.
What’s that, Mama? You want me to come off the stairs into kitchen? NO! Most definitely not! Wait, what’s that? A single chocolate chip on the carpet? I shall come examine it. 
Got to check the lock, make sure I won’t be locked off the stairs if I come to get chocolate chip.
I change mind! Stairs are better than single chocolate chip! Retreat!
What’s that, Mama? TWO chocolate chips. Hmmm…
Got to check the lock again. Okay, it’s open.
I think perhaps it is safe…Â Approach with caution…
Two chocolate chips! Whoo!
Noooooooo! Mama close gate! Mama mean!
Bite the couch in protest!
Wait, what was I upset about? I can’t remember.
Okay, feed chocolate chip to baby!
And that is what I think of stairs.
Love,
Elizabeth