The State of the Jen

The Physical

  • Eh.
  • I am still really sore throughout my whole pelvic floor area.
  • I still have a lot of cramping.
  • All the joints on the lower half of my body ache.
  • I have a bruise that showed up on my right forearm that I have no idea where it came from.  It’s obviously from some kind of needle because there is a tiny hole in the middle of it and it is positioned over a vein.  But I have absolutely no recollection of being stuck there.  Perhaps while I was under the general anesthesia?
  • My left hip where I got the anti-nausea injection is still so painful that I suspect I may be more sensitive than most to that drug.  If I brush my fingers over the location, it almost burns.  If I accidentally turn on that side in my sleep, I can almost not walk when I wake up.
  • The right hip is pretty much recovered from the Rhogam shot so at least I can sleep on that side.
  • I’ve slept pretty much through the last two night, without waking up for three-four hours in the middle of the night.
  • I am still exhausted, enough so that I’ve actually been able to nap which is almost unheard of for me.  By about four o’clock, I am pretty much done.  So it is extra nice that my mom’s club is doing dinners for us three days this week because I am not sure what we’d be eating otherwise because I do not have the energy to cook.  And…
  • I’ve lost my appetite.  This happened after Elizabeth was born too and was actually much worse then.  This time I can at least force myself to eat, I just have no hunger.  After Elizabeth was born, I went through about a week when I couldn’t even make myself eat, even when I tried.
  • I think all of the medical tape residue has finally worn off.

The Emotional

  • I’m sad, obviously.
  • I am really, really angry a lot of the time.
  • I’m also spending a lot of time in numb.

The Weather

  • It’s been really gray and rainy lately.
  • We’ve had enormous thunderstorms lately, enough to wake me up at night.  Somehow this seems appropriate.

The Dibits

  • She’s been a combination of really good and really out of sorts lately.  She’s been playing by herself, even going so far to order me out of the room twice.
  • But every once and a while, when she doesn’t get what she wants, she throws a massive fit.  I carried her out of a store sobbing last night because we didn’t buy her a toy she wanted.  She was sobbing “but I really wanted it” and “I really NEED it.”  Matt and I both felt so guilty that we almost turned the car around fifteen minutes later to go back to get it.  But we are trying not to overdo the spoiling and she got a brand new toy on Friday.  And she didn’t really NEED it as much as she may have wanted it.
  • She is getting bored out of her mind staying home all the time.  I may have to take her to something to play this week, for the good of the land.  There is a mom’s club thing today in my neighborhood which I might try.  It might be too much for me, but she really needs SOME activity.
  • She’s not really sleeping enough either.  She finally took a nap yesterday, after almost two weeks of not napping, and she really needed it.  But she’s having trouble falling asleep at night and she’s starting to wake up earlier.
  • But overall, best Dibits ever.

The Little Dog

  • The little dog gets his own category because he has been even more annoying than usual lately.
  • He has always been a sensitive annoying little thing, but he’s really taking it to extremes.  Obviously he feels the extra stress in the house.
  • He won’t be anywhere other than attached to Matt or me and if you force him, he whines the entire time.
  • He’s always hated thunderstorms, but in the last few, he’s been so out of sorts that he has shaken our bed enough that it wasn’t the thunder that woke us up, it was the trembling of the little dog.
  • Matt and I had been discussing getting him some pills for anxiety for the last couple of months.  This may have thrown him over the edge so that he needs to be medicated for sure.

The House

  • As a control issue, I have been keeping the house pretty clean and neat.  It makes me feel better and more in control.
  • The laundry on the other hand…I haven’t done laundry in two weeks.  I have to do some today or Matt will have literally nothing to wear to work.