Ninety-nine percent of the time, the internet makes me feel better and stronger.Â And happy.
Yesterday was a bad day, you guys.Â I felt emotionally awful all day.Â Everywhere we went there were families with little dressed up kids, with sweater vests and tiny bowties.Â I think my numbness has started to wear off too.Â I spent the whole afternoon cleaning our garage in an effort not to think.
My blog is not popular enough to really bring out the trolls.Â I’ve gotten very few comments that just spew hatred.Â Those I can laugh at and just click delete.
Worse are the comments were someone means well.Â They are harder ignore.Â The comments on a really emotional post for me where someone comes out of the woodwork and says “by the way, I’ve never commented before, but I just wanted to let you know that you are doing it wrong.”Â Or the comments where I am left spluttering “but…but…I didn’t say that at all, did I?”Â I wonder if what I meant to say was not what I actually said and I email friends to ask them, “did I actually say that?Â That isn’t what I meant to say.”
Yesterday was the first day a comment ever made me cry.Â I think it was a simple reading comprehension error, but it hit me when I was down.Â And it is still hurting me, even though I don’t think it was meant to.Â Like I said, sometimes the worst ones are when someone doesn’t mean to hurt.