Senescence

I went for a massage this morning (yes, it was the second of my massages from the gift card that Matt got me for Christmas and shut up, it did take me this long) and it struck me as such an adult thing to do.  Not that teenagers and such don’t get massages, but I certainly wouldn’t have as a teenager.  I was shy and embarrassed and I would have been all “ACK NAKED AND WOMAN I DON’T KNOW TOUCHING ME.”  And as an adult, I was just like “yes, rub more oils into me and massage me with hot towels.”  I came home and told Matt “we have to do this once a week!”*

I am starting to feel…older.  Before the comment section erupts into “you don’t know how good you have it”, I didn’t say old, I just said older.  I am losing some of my abilities to do whatever I wanted.  I used to be able to eat as much as I wanted of whatever I wanted and feel fantastic.  Now if I eat more than one bit of junk food per day, I feel off.  And heaven forbid I have even a whole soda, I can barely breathe for the rest of the day.  I’ve become someone who says “I ate too much, I have to lie down.”

I get tired and sore more easily now.  I spent all of yesterday afternoon doing crafts and by the evening, my shoulders were so sore that I needed ibuprofen before bed.  If I sleep in the guest room bed (which I do when Matt or I is sick and I’ve been coughing since that respiratory infection from ages ago, so I have been sleeping in the guest room bed for a few weeks), I am just a little creaky the next morning.

None of this is a big deal or anything.  But I really am not particularly old.  I intend to live at least another seventy years, so I am worried that if I am already starting to feel my decline beginning, how bad is it going to get?  I also wonder if this is why I was so much sicker during my pregnancy with Luke than during my pregnancy with Elizabeth?  Maybe it was just because I was three years older.

I’ve started to pay attention to these things now though.  I only eat one thing of junk food per day now.  Instead of eating brownies for breakfast this morning (like I normally would have when there are brownies and nothing more immediate to eat for breakfast), I had a whole grain granola bar because we are going out to dinner tonight.  If I have a soda during the day and then end up with the opportunity for another later, I don’t.  (I don’t drink a lot of soda, except for those rare times when I have a two week soda craving period, but there are some places that I always have one, like the movie theater or places that don’t really have another good option.)

In college (as a twenty-one year old), our biology professor informed us that the measurable process of aging begins in humans at age eighteen.  Do you find yourself saying “I am not as young as I used to be” like I do all the time now?

*Name that pop culture reference.