Best Mashed Potatoes Ever

Okay, so there has been a conspiracy going on since I was about fourteen years old.  It is a highly organized conspiracy that has continued even among people who do not know each other.  And the whole aim of this conspiracy group?  Is to get me to always bring the mashed potatoes to all occasions that require mashed potatoes.

The reason that I am convinced that this is a conspiracy is because there is not really anything special about my mashed potatoes.  Yet, since I was about fourteen, people have all been like “oooh, Jen, YOU have to make the mashed potatoes!”  Frankly, I don’t get it.  But, in case this is not how you make mashed potatoes (it probably is how you make mashed potatoes), here is how I make mashed potatoes. (I apologize, but I never measure anything.  I’ve tried to so that I can share recipes, but that is apparently not how I cook.)

The night before, peel your potatoes.  I recommend buying the expensive potatoes.  Yukon Gold are the best, in my opinion, and worth the extra cost.  This year, Sams Club didn’t have Yukon Gold, so I bought Yukon Rose because the name still contained the word Yukon and really, how bad could they be?  (Also, every time that I buy potatoes here, I miss living in Idaho where the potatoes were DAMN cheap and really good.  I’ve retroactively gotten myself convinced that I could buy a ten pound bag of delicious potatoes for $2.  I don’t know if that is actually true.  But when we moved from Idaho to Florida, I didn’t buy potatoes at all for at least six months because I kept exclaiming “they want HOW MUCH?” when I looked at the price.)

Anyway, the night before, peel your potatoes.  Cube them into roughly inch sized cubes.  Or whatever.  Put them directly into cold water in the potato pot you intend to cook them in the next day.  Add three(ish) bullion cubes to the water.  Sprinkle some garlic powder and onion powder over the top of the water.  Cover this pot and put it into the fridge.

The next day, take the potato pot out of the fridge and put it on the stove.  Boil the potatoes until they are soft enough that you can squish through a cube with a dull utensil when you pull a potato out of the water to check.  (Alternate method of doneness checking- bite into a piece of really hot potato.  Shriek.  Declare that they aren’t soft enough yet and spit that really hot piece of potato into the sink.  I, um, never use this method.)

Once your potatoes are cooked through, drain them and put them into a mixing bowl.  I use my stand mixer for this and the wire whip attachment.  Add a bunch of cream and butter to the potatoes and start up the mixer.  Add more cream.  Add more butter.  (I am pretty sure that this is the secret to my mashed potatoes- I am not on a diet.)  Sprinkle some garlic powder and some onion powder over the top of the potatoes and continue whipping.

Once potatoes are totally smooth and creamy (add more butter and cream if necessary), put them into a serving dish and put a pat of butter on top to melt into the little pool of butter that my little sister always steals off the top of the dish.

*I know I’ve been blogging a long time.  But, um, did I write this post once already?  About halfway through, it started to seem awfully familiar.  And yes, I should check my archives and find out.  But I am busy, it’s Thanksgiving and I am cooking.