Groundbreaking Information

Okay, I have some very groundbreaking information for you.  You will probably want to write this down.  The people I have told this in person have suggested that I write a book, so this is likely the last time this information will be available for free.

I feel better when I eat better for me stuff.

I know!  Who would have solved that mystery other than me?  It took months of research and experimentation.  Normally (don’t hate me), I have the ability to eat whatever I want and feel fantastic.  However, pregnant Jen has lost that ability.  Sigh.  And now that the evil heartburn has reappeared (on Friday, in conjunction with my delicious Mexican food, half of which is still in the fridge because I cannot bring myself to throw something so delicious away, but I also cannot bring myself to actually eat it because of the burning), I can pretty much only eat health food.  I mean, I took a single BITE of a Dorito and got instant heartburn.  I have been eating salads this weekend.  (It’s a good thing that I find salad delicious.)

Pre-heartburn, I could eat whatever I wanted and then feel awful after the meal, but I was able to cure that by lying down for a while.  (No idea why that works.  But if I get nauseated, I can lie flat on my back and am cured within about three minutes.  It is glorious.  The only flaw in that plan is eating huge meals in public, after which I have been spotted lying down on a bench in Epcot Center and on the monorail.)  But the heartburn has no cure, so I am now sentenced to not eating any junk.

Who knew that pregnancy would end up being my first diet?