*But not alone, this is real life.
Ryan usually cries when I put him on the floor so that I can use the bathroom. Recently, however, I have discovered a solution.
Step one: Tie balloon to baby’s ankle.
Step two: Baby kicks legs.
Step three: Baby is amazed at his strength and power. The balloon MOVES, Mama, did you see that?
I have done extensive testing for you and the baby is always amazed. (The balloon slipped off his ankle tonight and he burst into betrayed tears when he lost it.)